Sunday, February 8, 2015

Is there anything better than being a Father?

Many folks who have read my book "From Gigolo to Jesus" have come to learn about my past life before I came to the point of personal and spiritual transformation. I was a different man and father before learning what role my faith needed to play in my life, I created children without thinking of the future. Since that time my mindset has changed, hence my thoughts and actions are different. Having my daughter, Kayelle (pronounced K. L., like her father) has made me consider what it is to be a daddy to a little girl. It's a position unfortunately I've failed at in the pass.

Watching Kayelle each day, playing with her,  I am reminded of what my job as her father is. I am charged, and I accepted wholeheartedly, with being the example of what a man and father is supposed to be. At 10 months I see how she responds to me, as well as, how our relationship is growing each day. I read pediatric information often so I can understand what benchmarks Kayelle is supposed to  reach and what my role should be to make sure she reaches each of those steps. I see how my voice effects her and how she is learning to trust and depend on her daddy to be a guide, teacher, and protector.

When I watch Tiffany and Kayelle together I clearly understand her bonding with Tiff is different then mine. I am the disciplinarian, but also the comforter. Kayelle looks at me differently than Tiffany. But you can tell her looks are filled with Love. When she is looking you can tell she is departmentalizing who each of us is and what each of us bring to her life. Her smile and laughter is infectious and she is maturing at a fantastic rate. One thing which is clear, Tiff is a softy for her tears. I'm a little older so the tears and pouting doesn't effect me as much. Kayelle is such a ham you can see that in here even this early in her life. LOL I am so excited about her upcoming years. Each of my current moves are with the idea of how I can make things better for her and Tiffany.

I pray all the fathers our there take their role as Daddy serious because if you don't there is so much missed. I am going to continue to be the example for Kayelle so as she grows. Working hard to make sure she'll look for in others what she is use to having in her life. I am going to make sure she'll search and create incredible healthy relationship like what she'll has with her Daddy.

I pray this helps someone. I pray someone who has missed the above with their daughter, goes back and looks to repair the relationship. It's never to later. For Princess Kayelle I am going to keep at the job of being the Steward the Lord has assigned me to be.

God Bless

K. L. Belvin aka Kayelle's Daddy

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Sunday's Panel Discussion.

The Brothers and I trying to offer insight on the problems we face as a community. 

While sitting on the panel last night I was made clear to me, we as people of color may have our issue with school, our communities, and with law enforcement. Things not be to the level they should be. However, if we take a strong look at just our God given gifts we'll find we already have all that's needed to repair our own. If you look at the history of our migration as a people, God has already given us the means to fix all that ails our people. We simply need to refocus, reconnect, reorganize, and reassemble as the children of Israel once did freed from bondage. The Lord doesn't lie, nor change. He's given us proof to this fact. History can repeat itself if we take Acton. If we trust the Lord and put our faith in Him how can we go wrong? We can fix the very problems we complain about.

First is has to be an understanding of the God gifted talents we each posses so each of us know what we're bringing to table. Can't have Bakers trying to be Builders. That is what I mean by the reorganization. Each has to play a role to the overall growth through their talents. Aligning with those who do the same, while we all stand under the same umbrella of community change. X and MLK are the model. Different personal, tactical, and spiritual beliefs but understood they needed to stand under same umbrella to change the future of our people.

That is part of the beauty I saw last night. The diverse talents and gifts the Creator has given us. The unique way we see things. We already have all we need to heal ourselves through the Creators gifts.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Time for a New Year.

Happy New Year Everyone.

Sorry I fell behind in my posts. I took some time to  consider what my new year was going to look like. In doing so I realized I needed to address some areas in my life which were lacking tremendously

So I decided to create a new plan. I shrunk that plan down to 4 blocks. These four blocks are going to be my focus going forth into the new year. I also realized I am going to have to be more selfish with my time and focus since I have to make sure I am taking care of me before I can take care of the world. I posted some time back on a Facebook status, "You can't Save the world, if you refuse to take care of yourself." I also figured out, I was hiding behind helping others. You see, by helping others I was able to take the spotlight off my own problems. This year it was time to leave that behind me.

My Four Blocks are as follow in no particular order: (mind I didn't add Tiff and Kayelle since they are going to love me regardless and each of the blocks will make the bond with us better.)

1. Focus on my weight.
It was time to address the LARGE ELEPHANT I CARRY AROUND WRAPPED AROUND MY BODY. It was time to make a focused effort on my weight and health. With finding out a replacement knee operation could be on the horizon. It was time to do something. Except this time, I am keep my workouts and progress and slip ups to myself. No videos, no updates, nothing. I will unveile new me when I get to the top of the mountain. I want to get the old me back, I may not be able to get him completely back but he is in there and I am going set him free.

2. Reconnect my faith. 
I have never left the Lord, but I think I have fell back to where I am not studying as much about the Lord as I should. I consider myself a Man of God and with that said, my knowledge and actions should represent that at all times. I want to be more of the man the Lord created me to be and that means immersing myself into my biblical studies. 

3. Get back to writing. 
With my third book about done. I have been very lazy in the completion of my new novella. Here I have a few book ideas floating around in my head and I am holding myself up. In digging around in my head, I found fear had moved into place. Since I had never written 30K+ words of fictional text my fears of failure climbed into the drivers seat and prevented me from sitting down and complete my book. That is going out the window. I am going to complete this and the two others I started this year and get them ready for the world and all the readers in it. If the reviews are bad then I'll learn something about my talents. But "What if they like it???" that is my focus this coming year. Plus I was picked to be in another anthology. Book two of the award winning book "A Soul of a Man" which I was lucky enough to be a part of in 2009. I am excited. Getting asked to return to a book like this means my talents have been seen and accepted. So I am excited about my story in the book. I am sure you guys will love it. Its close to my heart. You'll see when you read it. My third book which is coming soon. Cover was done by Gregory Graphics

 As you can see from the pictures, there are some heavy hitters in this book and again I am honored to be part of the powerful all start team assembled by
Elissa Gabrielle of Peace in the Storm Publishing

4. Becoming a better Educator. 
With all the changes in the New York City Dept. of Ed, you think after 18 years a brother would have seen it all. Well with changes comes a different mindset. I realized to be able to help the children I serve I need to understand what I am teaching and how they need to be taught. So I am making sure I work at getting better at my craft. I also have to come to terms with my health prevents me from being the educator I could and I felt embarrassed. People don't say it to me directly but I know they are thinking it "How can the Health Education and PE Teacher be Fat?" You see there is only so much sound skills and intelligence can carry when the truth is the truth. Yes I am great with my students, yes I have a great way around a classroom, however I need to be better to be a better example to the children who's live I am trying to enhance.

So as you see all 4 of these blocks are interconnected. They all make me a better father, husband, author, man of God, educator and much much more. The road is not going to be easy and I am sure I am going to come face to face with someone I am going to hate at times (myself) but change is never easy, nor is success. But I want this. Since I am not posting about these goals until I reach the top of the mountain I decided to share out now. I ask that you pray for me. Keep me in good thoughts and don't worry I am on my grind.

So there you have it, no resolutions for 2015 Goals and a plan which is in place. Time to jump off and get in some meditation and prayer before I call it a night. 2015 is going to be my year because I said so and I control me.

Take Care and God bless

K. L. Belvin