It hurts to not have that "Old Lady", as I affectionately called her, no longer with me or my family. She would go to church on Christmas eve or Christmas on a regular. Afterwards she looked forward to having all of her family around the house for the holidays. I would hear her say often "We don't have much but Thank You Lord for his son Jesus, we made it another day." Her zest for life was driven by her faith in the Lord.
One of the last things she shared with me while she was able to speak was "You have to lead this family now. Its your time. I'm tired and I want to go home. You and Tiff hold on to each other for the Lord is going to bless you with a child" The Lord gave her a message point me in the right direction, as well as a nudge to move out on my spiritual walk.
Tonight another of those spiritual seeds, she planted, opened. The Lord ordered this before I was even born because the prayers of that woman. She told me often when I was in the midst of my sinning behavior no matter what I did I would be a child of God and preach His word. Even if it was to start at her funereal.
I love my grandmother to no end. I get it now. I truly get it. Like Jesus when he said he had to go to make room for the Holy Spirit (John 16:7-15), I understand my grandmother was called home for me to move into the place the Lord needed me to be in. She walked me as far as she could. She and my mother did what they could to raise a man. Its now my turn to carry the load for them and be there for my mother and family. I'll be the Faith and Prayer Warrior my Grandmother was and then some. I'll hold things together when they don't look bright by calling on Jesus name as she taught.
I was given my Christmas present tonight and I thank my grandmother for putting in place long before she was called home to rest. Old Lady, spirit still burns bright in me and all your children. Merry Christmas Everyone.