An Excerpt from From Gigolo to Jesus by K. L. BelvinWatch out for those dogs. Those men who do evil. Those manipulators of the flesh. Ephesians 3:2
I placed this verse at the beginning of the book because I wanted to show that, even in The Bible, God warned against man. Men, like me, who are liars, cheaters, cultivators, and destroyers of dreams. Treacherous at their creativity to feed their ravenous sexual desires people will go to great lengths. Although I am not proud to admit that I was among those predators for more than three decades of my life, I can honestly say that I am proof that change is possible. My transformation was not an easy one, and the greatest battle was admitting that I was as venomous as they come.
You see, I didn’t physically beat or rape women. I didn’t force myself on anyone. I learned, like a lion on the prowl, how to hide in the tall grass, watch my victims, and understand their weaknesses. Then when I got as close as possible, undetected, I sprang for the kill. I was brilliant at putting on such a chase for my victim’s heart they honestly believed I cared about them when in reality my goal was to feed my euphoria by capturing someone else’s soul because I felt I had lost my own.
When people hear the term gigolo, they automatically think of a man who receives money from women for his sexual prowess. As I enhanced my craft in enticing women, I was compensated with gifts, trips, and expensive restaurants, among other things. You see, a gigolo has to be a great liar. He has to be a chameleon so that he becomes whatever you need him to become. That is his appeal. I would love to say that, sexually, I am the best man on the planet, but my gift, as well as my curse, is I understand how women think. I assumed the role sex played in women’s emotions, and I made it work for me.
All of my life as far as I can remember, my grandmother stressed to me I had a connection to the Lord. A calling she swore I could never get away from. I never allowed myself to fully believe it was true. When you’re living your life in an ungodly fashion, there is no way to allow thoughts of Jesus to take hold. In all my transgressions I remember to speak to the Lord and say a prayer when I was in trouble like many who lived fast and still consider themselves spiritual. In this book, my transformation is laid out as a reflection of what happens when a man lets the truth sink past the filth. Hence the reason I added Jesus to the title, to begin with. I am by no means calling myself the Savior or comparing myself in any way; I am simply saying Jesus is the focus of my spiritual life. As I fight to remain the changed man I am, it is the understanding of Jesus’ life and the ideas of the Christian faith which leads my path. I am not preaching to anyone with my writing. However, I am witnessing to whoever, through my words and actions. Now if you ask my grandmother she will swear to you without the shadow of a doubt I am going to be a full-fledged minister. Don’t get me wrong, men need something greater than themselves to latch on to if they are to change. This is my anchor.
There was a time I believed that I was happy. I had fixed a lie around myself to such a degree that I had other people thinking I was happy and hoping that if I told enough lies, I would find the happiness that I didn’t have. This book is going to take you on a journey of where that unhappiness began and where happiness takes over. I was a young man so out of control I believed the only thing that could save my life was jail, death or God. I was leaning to the latter two. I knew I didn’t want to end up in prison. However, the internal battle was being waged between the death of my soul and moving towards the path of Jesus. In changing my life, I figured out how to do things to stay clear of death. It wasn’t easy.