Keith "K. L." Belvin

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Sunday, June 15, 2014

For Father's Day. Allow me to share a little about my father from my book "From Gigolo to Jesus"

Here is an excerpt from my book "From Gigolo to Jesus" about my Father.

Throughout this book I have discussed the affects of not having my father or a positive male fixture in my life. Even after accomplishing so much without my father it never stopped my longing to meet the man that I heard so much about. Every time I visit Penns Grove, New Jersey people would say, ‘I just saw your father’ or ‘You look so much like your father.’ I don’t think I can begin to explain what it feels like for everyone around you to know and have seen your father, but you have never laid eyes on him.

I remember receiving an email from my aunt Noonie―my father’s sister. She got my email address from my half brother, Derwin. She wrote that I should reach out to my father because both of us seemed to be stubborn and we needed to find each other and talk. I wrote back I can’t be stubborn with someone I've never met. I told her I would love to reach out and know who he is, but I've never had the opportunity. My aunt forwarded me all his information and wrote, “You two need to get this done.”

So, I sat and thought about it. I talked to my wife and I asked her, “What should I do?” My wife said, “The Lord has presented you with an opportunity to reconnect with your father. You should take it.” That’s something else that my wife and I share. We both come from homes where the men who called themselves our fathers―our biological fathers―were men who just made multiple children with different women and were not a part of our lives. I knew Tiff would understand what I was feeling.

I sat and stared at the email for a while and then decided it can’t hurt. I prayed about it. I typed up a nice email explaining who I was. I shared with him that I was an educator, I told him about my children, and my wife. I attached pictures of his grandchildren and his daughter-in-law and me. One of the things that I made sure I put in the email was that I apologized to him for any negative feelings that I had towards him and also stated that I understood if allowing me to walk into his life now would cause difficulty. I told him he did not have to respond because I no longer hold a grudge against him. My father read the email and he was so blown away by it he felt it his duty to respond to me.

My father had his own epiphany with the Lord many years earlier, he had changed his life and was living much better than he was in the past. In his email he told me how touched he was that I had reached out to him. He respected the fact that I said if this was going to be a problem in his life, it was OK if he didn't respond.

We talked for a while, but it didn't seem long enough. He then told me he wanted me to do a DNA test before we went further. He had seen circumstances where people showed up and claimed to be someone’s child and it turn out not to be the case. Some people would have been offended because he had been with my mom and everyone said we looked alike. However, it makes sense to be certain before he disrupted his and his family’s life with something that may not be true. I didn't have a problem with it because I had gone through it with one of my own children.

There are circumstances that arise which you know although there is a possibility that you fathered a child you weren't in the most trustworthy circumstances. So he sent the exam in the mail. I did a swab and got the results back a few weeks later that it was 99% positive I was his son.

I love my father because the minute he found out and got the confirmation, he instantly turned the love on. I think he already felt in his heart that I was his son, but he needed that reassurance.

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